The next time your European friend tries to play the Old World sophistication card in your discussion of world events, we have the perfect counter … wieners in a can!
And we bring two shining examples of these abominations of American cuisine:
Plumrose Premium Giant Hotdogs and Ye Olde Oak American Style Hot Dogs – the very fact that there are two prove that this is not just the random misjudgment of a single entrepreneur, but a niche in the European market that is at once embarrassing and lucrative.
Plumrose emphasizes the American-ness of its product by showing a cartoon American football player on the label. As an aside, the dogs are made up of turkey parts and, as every red-blooded American knows, the turkey was almost the symbol of the United States, but lost out to the eagle.
Ye Olde Oak relies heavily on the customer’s ability to recognize faux Old English spelling, and features its own cartoon figure – a Yankee Doodle Dandy-like dude called Captain Hot Dog. These “tube steaks” are also heavily promoted as being packed in brine. As if that were a good thing.
And so, citizens, let us bask in the superiority of our very own, packed-in-plastic, meat and sort-of-meat byproduct star of grills and picnics nationwide … the American frankfurter!