Here at DO NOT EAT THIS, we are dedicated to uncovering food fraud and exposing edible imposters before they sneak past your innocent taste buds and sabotage your body.
There is a world of good food out there and these culprits certainly are not food. Take a moment to scan through our mug shots and descriptions to see if you too have been fooled by these tricky treats and preservative punks.
If you have any leads on prospective food criminals, please let us know by posting…
*TIPS FOR CATCHING A FOOD FELON*
1. SMELL IT – If it stanks, it may not necessarily be a food imposter but you should probably throw that s**t out…unless it’s Taleggio cheese, which smells like Peyton Manning’s jock strap but tastes ohhh soo good.
2. READ THE INGREDIENT LIST: This is the easiest way to identify an imposter because, luckily for us, most companies who forge these food Frankensteins are forced by law to expose the crude concoction of chemicals used to make their monster.
3. USE THIS RULE OF THUMB – Try to cover up all the ingredients in your prospective meal with your thumb. If the list of ingredients runs much past your thumb, you are probably poisoning yourself.
4. IF YOU CAN’T SPELL IT…DON’T EAT IT – If there is a mystery ingredient, chances are you wouldn’t recognize it as food if you could lay your eyes on it. If it sounds like it belongs in a chemistry experiment, don’t be the lab rat!
5. FOOD REVENGE – If post- ingestion you are stricken with the dreaded bubble gut and spend the next 48 minutes of your life finishing Sudoku puzzles on your toilet…was it worth it?