Really, Europe? Hot Dogs in a Can?

Photo by SixthSeal.com

The next time your European friend tries to play the Old World sophistication card in your discussion of world events, we have the perfect counter … wieners in a can!

And we bring two shining examples of these abominations of American cuisine:

Plumrose Premium Giant Hotdogs and Ye Olde Oak American Style Hot Dogs – the very fact that there are two prove that this is not just the random misjudgment of a single entrepreneur, but a niche in the European market that is at once embarrassing and lucrative.

Plumrose emphasizes the American-ness of its product by showing a cartoon American football player on the label. As an aside, the dogs are made up of turkey parts and, as every red-blooded American knows, the turkey was almost the symbol of the United States, but lost out to the eagle.

Ye Olde Oak relies heavily on the customer’s ability to recognize faux Old English spelling, and features its own cartoon figure – a Yankee Doodle Dandy-like dude called Captain Hot Dog. These “tube steaks” are also heavily promoted as being  packed in brine. As if that were a good thing.

And so, citizens, let us bask in the superiority of our very own, packed-in-plastic, meat and sort-of-meat byproduct star of grills and picnics nationwide … the American frankfurter!

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About Do Not Eat This

A side project by Grist.org
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15 Responses to Really, Europe? Hot Dogs in a Can?

  1. Biscuis t says:

    They are so delicious, though! Yum!

  2. Richard L says:

    Honestly I agree to most of your articles, but I really don’t see anything smart in this one… seems like it was written by a 8yr old kid on April fool’s day!
    First of all you are making fun of Europe’ canned food? Amercia has canned about anything thats possible, even red wine! America’s “Cuisine” (lol) should take more example on Europe’s higher Cuisine & food industry than the opposite! (i’m american living in Europe by the way)
    Now why is canned hot dogs better than the plastic wrapped American frankfurters?! More cans are recycled than plastic wrappings! And metal cans are 100% recycable unlike plastic. + canned food’s date of expiry is wayyyyy longer than plastic wraped food! Half of the plastic wraped American frankfurters you see in supermarkets will end up in the garbage! Unlike most canned food where you have sometimes a few years to eat it and with no additional artificial preservatives!
    And really most sausages are made up the same way in America, Europe or wherever (with all types of animal parts), but Europe uses much less added chemicals to their foods.
    So you prefer eat (quickly) an American frankfurter filled with chemicals and artificial preservatives
    wraped in harmful non recycable plastic, than a Europeen’s often natural animal parts only sausage in a can which you have the choice to eat within a couple years and then recycle the container? Well not me… Having lived and eaten my whole life in both places, I trust much more the Europeen Cuisine!!

  3. AmeriEurocean says:

    The only thing I find both puzzling and sad about this product is that there are so many delicious sausages to choose from in most places in Europe, I can’t understand why anyone would eat them – except for the novelty. And every country certainly has its share of “novelty” foods. I do remember as a child being told by my father (who worked a short stint for Armour) that I and my siblings would never eat another hot dog if we could see what went into them – and “pink slime” didn’t even exist then!

  4. Pingback: 24 ways to eat a hot dog | Death and Taxes

  5. JOE says:

    WHERE CAN I BUY EM???

  6. Hola! I’ve been reading your web site for a long time
    now and finally got the bravery too go ahead and give you a shout out from New Caney Tx!
    Just wanted to mention keep uup thhe great work!

  7. Bardock7 says:

    I found this page while I was doing a Google search, trying to find out where I can buy these in the US. Not sure why you are so hellbent against them.

  8. Lee McDonald says:

    American cuisine?! Frankfurter? Check your Atlas lol. I think you also need to check your dictionary for the definition of sophistication lol!!

  9. Chris says:

    Is this for real? LOL an American giving lectures about food… America is BY FAR the worst place for healthy eating, and drinking for that matter… Have you forgot about Kool-Aid? Haha so I’d calm down with the whole ’embarrasing’ thing… Uneducated idiot. It’s a shame people like you have access to the internet.

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