In what they are proclaiming as a scientific breakthrough rivaling the unraveling of the human genome, the makers of Squeez Bacon® announce that the hot-grease-spattering, patience-testing process of actually cooking bacon is a thing of the past.
But before you thank your chosen higher power that you are alive in this golden age of food engineering, you may want to examine the product more closely.
What they describe as a “paste” that you squeeze from a ketchup-like bottle onto your burger or selected foodstuff, could just as easily be thought of as – how to put this delicately – poop-like in its consistency.
Your perceptions may vary, and perhaps your individual bacon jones can override this unfortunate resemblance. We’re just saying …