Under the heading “Almost Certainly Not Real, But Just Wait,” we bring you a concept long past due – Bread Gloves.
The recent report of pancakes doing double duty as the breadly portion of a killer-calorie bacon cheeseburger, is a sure sign that great minds are percolating on bringing the breeding of the bread and the role of the roll to the next level.
So if you have brainstormed a just-out-of-the-oven idea to improve the state of the sandwich, its time has come. Sleep on it at your own risk.
From Flickr by mtkopone
Most of us got the word on red meat. We know that it can clog up the system and lead to heart disease, among other distasteful consequences. Just the same, it’s still what’s for dinner for the carnivore majority – we’ve substituted this form of living dangerously for the drag racing or random hookups of our youth.
But fish eaters thought they had it figured out.
Well, not necessarily so, Captain Nemo!
Fish would be a healthy form of protein if not for the high levels of pollutants that contaminate many varieties. It’s true that the American Heart Association recommends eating fish at least twice a week, but they note that some types of fish may contain high levels of mercury.
In more innocent (that is, less knowledgeable) times it wasn’t uncommon for schoolchildren to have fun playing with the “liquid metal” right in the classroom. But today, the consumption of fish is by far the most significant source of ingestion-related mercury exposure in humans and animals.
This is particularly important for women who may become pregnant, pregnant women, nursing mothers and young children, as developing and unborn children are susceptible to nervous system damage from mercury.
Fortunately, we have a good way to remember which fish show the highest levels of mercury, and should be avoided. They are the preferred targets of sport fishing – shark, swordfish, marlin and king mackerel. So it’s as if Mother Nature is warning us:
The ones that put up the biggest fight are exactly the ones that will bite you back once you eat them.
Photo by Abby Batchelder
Almost all of us have an Aunt Betty. She’s the sweet, thoughtful family member who always goes that extra mile to make everyone feel happy and welcome. Her house always smells of freshly baked cookies, and she has a specialty that we can’t wait to receive every summer:
Her strawberry jam.
Now, thanks to the work of scientists (or, as some might describe them, those people who just have to ruin everything), we know that jam is bad for us.
But how could that be? It’s made of fruit, for goodness sake!
It turns out that the process of making jam annihilates every healthful benefit that fruit may offer. The fruit has to be heated to extreme temperatures, which cancels out virtually all of its beneficial properties. Most jams are based on fruits like strawberries, blueberries, raspberries or cherries, which are high in vitamin C. What is the easiest way to destroy Vitamin C? Heat.
What should we tell Aunt Betty? Our advice is to keep this information from her, and just accept the annual jam. You never know, those scientists may one day find that they were mistaken, in which case you would find yourself sitting on a sweet stockpile of spreadable fruity delight.
One can always hope.
Photo by ntoper
As you raise your awareness about the benefits of buying fresh or organic, raise your guard, too.
An investigation in the UK found that one out of six claims of “fresh,” organic” or “handmade” were false. Our guess is that American scammers can match that figure or (our patriotic pride may be showing here) even exceed it!
Patrons who smacked their lips at the sight of “hand-made potato cakes” on the menu were actually paying premium prices for frozen hash browns. The mouth-watering “hand-carved ham” was pre-packaged and frozen. “Fresh mozzarella” was week-old cheddar, and so on and so on.
British officials point out that supermarkets are relatively under control there, but the “food fraud” abuses occur most often in the pubs and restaurants.
So what’s a health-conscious consumer to do? Research and snitch! Check out the Internet for recommendations for your local establishments – and report suspected violations to the health department.
Photo by Mykl Roventine
Just like that weird neighbor who always seems to be in the laundry room when you are, sugar is a lot harder to avoid than you might think. It knows that you’re trying to get rid of it. So it has become very crafty.
Bob Greene appeared on Oprah to fill us in on the sugar that fools us in foods like ketchup and salad dressing, but what may be even more disturbing is just how much sugar is in foods we kind of already knew had some. It’s a stunning amount.
Warning: This information may forever ruin doughnuts and soda for you.
Photo by plushev Flickr Creative Commons
What if Starbucks and Marlboro had a baby.
One could imagine a super brand coffee/cigarette hybrid that might one day rule the free world. But we need imagine no more.
Apparently sensing a distaste for drinking things, along with an intense desire to smoke things, one innovative, outside-the-carton thinking manufacturer brings us “Le Whif.”
Le Whif is a coffee-flavored inhaler that combines the social leprosy of smoking with the nerve-jangling effects of far too much caffeine. Clearly, the perfect product for these harried times where the bombardment of technology and information compels us to combine our vices into more efficient and manageable slots in our lives.
Photo by rick Flickr Creative Commons
… you would be very careful about so scarf-able a food. Yes, it’s easy (and guilt-free) to eat lots and lots of brain-building, lean-and-tasty fish. But not so fast.
Prepare to open up the guilt gates.
You need to be aware of exactly what you’re eating under the broad category of “sushi.” Many types of sushi rolls are extremely high in calories and fat since they are either fried or made with mayonnaise, or (in the ideal scenario of self-deception) both.
Just as an example, 12 pieces of Dragon Rolls can have about 500 calories and 16 grams of fat. This is equivalent to the Burger King Whopper that very few of us would try to defend as “healthy.”
Instead, you might want to order something simple like a California Roll or, whatever specific sushi you ask for, be sure to tell them to hold the mayo.
